


A Heavy Happening

by SonicCeleste



Series: The Life of the Moon Guardian [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: All hail the Heavy Hatchling, Gen, Hinted WoL/Yda, I have never run out of MGP, Male Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Miqo'te Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), This is based on the time I literally spent a week just in the Gold Saucer, Wingman to All (as long as you give him food)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22188190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicCeleste/pseuds/SonicCeleste
Summary: No’a Katri wants a pet. He gets a (literal) wingman.
Series: The Life of the Moon Guardian [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902067
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	A Heavy Happening

With rich decor, unending music and bright lights of every imaginable colour, the Mandeville Gold Saucer was truly a marvel of Eorzea - though whether that was for good or bad remained upon the individual. No’a, fresh off the airship and eager to take a break from the busy day-to-day of being a Scion, strolled over to the main counter to look through what prizes they had to offer. There was a surprisingly wide selection, ranging from extravagant foreign outfits to all manner of mounts, and even some Gold Saucer-themed weaponry. All for show, of course, but they’d make some stunning glamours - if you liked the glowing cactuar, that is.

No’a frowned and reluctantly came to the conclusion that the Sabotender’s Bow would significantly hinder his night hunts, so decided against buying it.

Then he noticed the “Heavy Hatchlings”.

If health and safety inspectors were a thing in Eorzea, they would surely question how the Gold Saucer could possibly advertise an overweight chocobo chick as a prize to be won alongside wind-up dolls and hog costumes. But since there was no such thing, no-one questioned it - especially not No’a, eyes widening and tail swishing rapidly in excitement as he instantly fell in love with the round bird’s picture in the listing. The tiny beak, the eyes always closed in a happy arch upwards, the way its reported method of travelling was  _ bouncing up and down! _ He remembered mentioning getting an animal companion to Yda a few days prior - it had to be  _ fate _ ! He  _ had _ to have such an adorable creature! Anything otherwise would be a tragedy of the highest degree!

“‘Scuse me sir,” he said, flagging down one of the well-dressed gentlemen behind the counter, “do you still have these Heavy Hatchlings available?”

The man seemed reluctant to answer the question. “Well… Yes, we have one left, however he’s a- um, sir?“

No’a had already jogged away towards the Round Square with a confident grin before the man at the counter could finish his sentence. Despite knowing more about hunting animals than raising them, No’a knew that the bright lights of the Gold Saucer was no place for a chocobo chick to grow up in, and now that he was able to afford the extra costs of looking after an animal thanks to the Scions, he was going to rescue that last, lonely chick, no matter how long it would take him!

——————

“Vhano’a Katri, you’ve been at the Gold Saucer for a week. We’re taking you back to the Waking Sands.”

The Miqo’te jumped at the sudden voice and threw his hammer down too early, a sad noise coming from the Crystal Tower Striker machine telling him he’d lost. Cursing under his breath, he turned and lifted the brim of his hempen hat to see Yda and Papalymo watching him with identical disapproving looks and arms folded. At least, they looked identical until Yda got a proper look at him and started giggling.

“You… Stars, you look  _ terrible! _ ” She said in between fits of laughter. The Lalafell sighed and shook his head. “This is no laughing matter, Yda… We’re here for an intervention, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Right, right, I know that, but… haha… just look at his  _ hair! _ ”

No’a frowned and tilted his head to one side, using the motion to brush back a part of his fringe in a hidden act of self-consciousness. “What about my hair? I’ve tried to look after it, but it’s hard to keep it styled like normal when there’s no mirrors here...”

“That… doesn’t matter right now,” Papalymo said simply, putting the topic aside for the time being. “What  _ does _ matter, No’a, is the fact that you’ve been in the Gold Saucer for an entire  _ week _ without answering any linkpearl communications. You’ve missed numerous Scion meetings.”

“Even Qhita asked after you, saying you missed another trade meet!” Yda piped up. “I do  _ not  _ envy you when you next see her…”

No’a noticeably shrunk back, ears flattened, at the mention of his sister. Papalymo continued, making a mental note to see if he could strike some sort of deal with this woman to get her brother’s priorities in order. “Minfilia asked us specifically to find you and bring you back after rumours started spreading of Kan-E-Senna’s envoy sleeping on top of Mt. Corel and hissing at the security.”

“I haven’t  _ hissed _ at the security...”

“... But you admit to sleeping on Mt. Corel?”

No’a simply gave a sheepish grin in response. Papalymo could only sigh again - how he wished the Miqo’te was always as serious as he was during Scion missions. “What, pray tell, even convinced you to stay here this long?”

“A chocobo chick!” No’a replied with a sudden childlike glee before pulling out a leaflet and pointing to the heavy hatchling amongst the other prizes. “Isn’t he precious? I’ve been saving up all my MGP to get him.”

Yda stepped closer to get a better look and smiled brightly, clasping her hands together. “He’s so round, how sweet! He’s certainly got a charm to him - don’t you think so Papalymo?”

Resigning to the fact that they were definitely  _ not _ leaving anytime soon, the Lalafell looked up at the leaflet in No’a’s hand and hummed as he read it - then narrowed his eyes and glared at the Miqo’te. “How much MGP do you have, No’a?”

No’a tilted his head as he thought, his ears flicking idly against his wide-brimmed hat. “Last I checked… About ninety-five thousand? The Leap of Faith game’s the best for getting them but I’ve been keeping that to a minimum lately because  _ Menphina help me _ if I try to sit down afterwards…”

“Oh, I love that game! It’s such a good leg workout,” Yda exclaimed excitedly, seemingly unaware of the Miqo’te’s bewildered glance at her. “Next time we’re both here, why don’t we race each other?”

No’a gave her a despairing look. “I think I might die, sunshine.”

“Aww, please No’a…”

“... Oh, alright. How could I refuse a sweet thing like you?”

Yda jumped up happily, the bard grinning at her with a happy flick of his ears and a telltale curl of his tail Papalymo had often seen when No’a was trying to charm his way through something. The Lalafell shook his head and muttered something about “youth nowadays” before getting No’a’s attention again.

“Do you remember how much this chocobo chick costs?” he asked. No’a scoffed as if it were a ridiculous question - then froze and brought his hand to his chin as he hummed in thought. Yda tugged the leaflet out of his hand and scanned through it quickly before letting out a gasp. “No’a… It’s ten thousand MGP.”

“... Ah. Right.”

A silence fell between the three for a moment as the revelation set in, the only sounds around them being the muted melody of the Gold Saucer’s infamous jingle and the noises of the nearby machines.

“... Heh.”

Maybe it was out of embarrassment, maybe it was delirium from doing the same things for a week straight, or maybe it was the fact that one of the machines beeped out a sad losing chime just as he glanced over at Papalymo giving him the most frustrated, despairing look he’d ever seen…

“Ha! Ha ha  _ ha _ , oh Menphina, I’m so sorry, but… Haha, shit, I-I can’t  _ breathe _ ...!”

But whatever it was, No’a just burst out laughing, doubling over and holding a hand in front of his face in a failed attempt to muffle his laughter. Papalymo’s expression shifted from surprise, to irritated, then betrayed as he glared at Yda when she couldn’t help herself from quietly joining in and giggling to herself. Luckily, before the Lalafell could reach for his staff and teach No’a a lesson the old-fashioned way, Yda regained her composure enough to step in and gently put a hand on the Miqo’te’s shoulder.

“Maybe we should go get that lovely chick and head back to the Waking Sands before Papalymo blows up the Gold Saucer, hm?” she suggested with a not-so-subtle push in the direction of the prize counter. Thankfully No’a’s laughter was fading just as quickly as it arrived, and he happily followed Yda while trying to get his breath back with a reluctant Papalymo following behind. The Lalafell had to admit, Yda was remarkably able to influence No’a - much more than he was able to, at any rate. The reasoning behind that was obvious to him - Papalymo may have been older than the pair but he’d been young too and wasn’t blind to the way No’a would sneak glances at her - but he wondered if it was obvious to Yda too.

_ I hope not _ , he suddenly realised as they reached the counter.  _ A pair like them would wreck havoc and still not get any Scion work done. They still have some maturing to do... _

“One Heavy Hatchling, please!” The Miqo’te sang to the man behind the counter, his tail swishing excitedly from anticipation as he put down a portion of his MGP neatly onto the counter. The employee behind the desk glanced at the points, then at No’a. “You have the right amount, however I feel that I should warn… Hm… Then again, I have a feeling you’re not going to listen, just like last time.”

“Nope!” No’a replied shamelessly with a grin. “With all due respect, sir, I don’t care how troublesome he is. I’m certain I could handle him!”

“... As you wish, sir,” the employee finally relented, pressing a button under the desk. Mere moments later the nearby lift opened with a Hyur chocobokeep carrying an enormous burlap sack over her shoulder, struggling to walk to the prize counter. Just as Yda and No’a went over to help her, though, a sharp cry and a jolt of movement came from the sack and the poor girl fell backwards onto the floor, letting go of the sack which… bounced, with a disgruntled _ peep _ .

“At least he’s resilient,” No’a noted, hand on his hip and an amused smirk on his face.

“I’d attribute that to its unhealthy weight rather than any semblance of strength, but do go on,” Papalymo muttered to himself with a shake of his head.

The lip of the burlap sack eventually opened wide and revealed the heavy hatchling in all its enormous round yellow glory, its head swivelling around wildly as it seemed to search for something. Then, with a happy  _ pip _ , it bounced up and down past the small crowd it had gathered towards the nearby tables, where a Lalafell woman was obliviously eating on her lonesome.

“My apologies, sir,” the chocobokeep said to No’a as Yda helped her back on her feet, “but I insist that you call back your new chick at once! He’s exceptionally greedy, and equally as mischievous - his tricks are infamous to the staff here…”

No’a’s ears pricked up. “Tricks? What kind of tricks?”

“See for yourself,” the chocobokeep sighed with a defeated hand wave over to where the chick and the Lalafell woman were (No’a amusingly noticed that the hatchling was about her height). The group stood and watched, somehow unseen as the chick started to nip at the woman’s ankle, causing her to startle and glare at the offending bird. Her expression quickly softened, however, when the hatchling nuzzled its head against her leg with a soft, sad  _ peep. _

“Oh, you sweet thing… You caught scent of my meal and got hungry, didn’t you? I wonder where your owner is…”

The chick simply kept rubbing its head against her leg, closed eyes in happy archs as it chirped affectionately.

“Is it… trying to curry favour with…?” Papalymo whispered, getting an odd sense of deja vu. No’a quickly shushed him before he could finish, watching the situation unfold with his tail swishing with newfound curiosity - this chick was definitely trying to flirt with this woman as best a little bird could, and No’a had to commend him on it, but what was it  _ for? _

After a while of cosying up to her and even trilling a short, sweet chocobo ‘song’ for her, the Lalafell woman giggled and picked up a spare piece of fish from her plate, carefully feeding it to the chick who swallowed it down greedily and happily waved its stubby wings as thanks.

“As you can see,” the chocobokeep explained, “he’s figured out how to charm the visitors into giving him food. He does this every chance he gets to escape, which despite his size happens often… I can only apologise, sir - I can understand if you’d like to return him-“

“Return him?!” No’a spun around to face her, sounding almost offended at her words. “I would never! Why would I ever return such a  _ perfect wingman? _ I’m keeping him, don’t you worry.”

“... Oh. You’re sure?” The chocobokeep asked, surprised. The Miqo’te simply gave her an affirming nod and a bright grin - she seemed only too satisfied with that, quickly walking back to the lift while stretching and mumbling something about finally being able to rest her back.

“Wingman?” Papalymo muttered to himself before realisation quickly set in, his eyes widening as No’a watched the table with keen eyes, his tail doing that telltale flirty curl again. “No’a,  _ no, _ I forbid it! You’ve wasted enough time here as it is, not even  _ Thancred _ acts like-“

But No’a was already off with a mischievous chuckle, rushing over to the woman’s side with fake exasperation. “I am  _ so, so  _ sorry, miss - I’m still new to chocobo raising, and the little guy likes to take advantage and wander off...”

“Hm? Oh, it was no trouble at all! I’m just glad you managed to find him.”

“I’m glad too - luckily I know he’s a little ladies’ man, so I just needed to look for the most beautiful woman in the Saucer…”

Yda and Papalymo could only stare from their spot by the prize counter as the Lalafell woman - Malulu, she told No’a - flushed and giggled as she chatted animatedly with the Miqo’te, who crouched down to pet his newfound…  _ wingman _ . Papalymo still grimaced at the wordplay.

Oddly, despite the chocobokeep’s warnings, the chick didn’t try to peck at No’a or even beg him for food as well. Instead, it simply stared up at him like a curious child, beak slightly open, listening intently to No’a as he effortlessly charmed his way into Malulu’s heart - and purse, it seemed, as she happily gave him some MGP coins and gestured over to the counter.

(Yda and Papalymo only barely managed to lean against the counter and look some semblance of casual before she looked over.)

“Aw, treasure, you didn’t have to treat us to lunch,” No’a said as he counted up the MGP in his hand. Malulu shook her head, hopping down from her chair and leaving her now-empty plate to gently scratch at the chocobo chick’s beak. “I  _ insist _ , No’a - you’ve made my afternoon so much happier, it’s the least I can do for you and… Oh! I completely forgot to ask, what’s this darling’s name?”

A flicker of realisation, then panic, flashed across No’a’s face for a split second and he looked down at the round bird, his fringe intentionally falling over his eyes as he desperately tried to think-

Ah.  _ That _ was what was wrong with his hair. Ew. He wasn’t doing that game with Master Typhon ever again.

Wait, not the time. Think of a name…!

_ “Pip?” _ the chick chirped at him thoughtfully.

_ That’ll do. _

“His name’s Pip!” No’a told Malulu with a grin. “It’s, uh, short for Pipsqueak - though that name doesn’t quite fit now, does it, ya big ball of fluff?”

The newly-christened Pip chirped indignantly, tugging a lock of No’a’s hair before bouncing away to where Yda and Papalymo stood in a huff. Malulu giggled. “You two are quite the pair! Do you think… Um… Do you think we’ll get to meet up again? T-to see Pip again, of course!”

Yda and Papalymo exchanged knowing glances.

“Oh, my dear treasure, I’m afraid I’m a busy man these days… But mayhaps Menphina wills us to meet again, hm?” No’a winked and stood up from his crouch. “Until next time~”

The two then walked off in opposite directions, but not without Malulu looking back at No’a one last time before hurrying back into the depths of the Gold Saucer. Papalymo tapped his foot impatiently as the Miqo’te shot him a big grin. “Are you quite finished, now? In case you’ve forgotten, Minfilia’s waiting for us - not even Thancred would choose flirting over her.”

“That’s because Pops’ flirting is an extra thing because he likes women -  _ I  _ flirt for survival.”

A  _ hunter _ charming his way to free meals and drinks in the nearest bar was decidedly  _ not _ survival, but by this point Papalymo and even a bored Yda just wanted to leave, so they stayed quiet. For now.

“Anyroad, just give me a second, Teach,” No’a waved his hand dismissively as he knelt down in front of Pip, scritching near his beak with a smile. “So! You ready to come home with me? I won’t be able to take you everywhere because of the whole adventurer thing, but the Waking Sands has lots of good people like Tataru, Minfilia, Urianger, and this amazing Roe lady - don’t worry, if you’re like me you’ll notice her instantly - and there’s lots of food so you won’t go hungry… Buuuuut that doesn’t mean we won’t charm our way to some free food together either! So how about it, wingman?”

Pip chirped happily, nipping affectionately at No’a’s hand that held still held Malulu’s MGP coins.

“Lunch first? Yeah, we can do that,” No’a said, chuckling before turning to the Scion pair. “I’ll treat you two as well, don’t worry.”

Yda practically jumped at the offer, glad to just be doing something instead of standing around, while Papalymo took a bit longer before reluctantly agreeing. After all, he still needed time to figure out how exactly to explain to Minfilia that No’a had spent an entire week skipping out on Scion responsibilities in the Mandeville Gold Saucer, gambling for the sake of an overweight Chocobo chick that he’ll use in his coquettish endeavours…

Oh well. At least there was free food.

**Author's Note:**

> The Heavy Hatchling will forever be one of the best XIV minions (/ouo)/


End file.
